As some of you may know, my summer in the Valley of Sun took a strange turn, along with my colon, on the night of July 21st. After waking up at 2am from acute abdominal pain, I was rushed to the emergency room and then helicoptered to Boise, Idaho for abdominal surgery. I was accompanied by Lucy's mom, the amazing Kathy Alexander.
That day I worked at the first day of the Sun Valley Writer's Conference and got to listen to keynote speaker Tom Friedman. Sadly, I did not make the other four days of the conference. I was especially devastated about missing Terrance Hayes, but I did listen to and read a lot of his poetry during my hospital stay. Here is a link to the audio of my favorite Terrance poem, "How to Draw a Perfect Circle": https://www.poetryfoundation.org/play/76951
Lucy and I killing it at the pavilion.
(While wonky on pain medication I insisted on documenting my first helicopter flight. Behold the foothills of Boise!)
What doctors first believed to be appendicitis turned out to be a bit more extreme. The gist of it is that my left descending colon had twisted, causing my right colon to stop functioning and blow up to the size of 14 centimeters (Which as witness Kathy Alexander describes, is roughly the size of a Quaker Oats container).
(Alas, I can never look at this wholesome breakfast the same way again...)
I had both my appendix and the infected right ascending colon removed in surgery and woke up the next morning feeling like I had been tortured for hours in a dead fish core contraption. My mom flew in that night from VT, which was such a blessing (a week later my dad flew out too <3).
However, my journey was far from over. On Hospital Day 3, I became very sick. After a CT scan, we learned that I had a leakage and an infection from my surgery and that the doctors needed to go in again to fix the leakage, purge infection, and also operate on my left colon. On Friday, August 3rd I woke up from my second surgery with a lot more gear. I had an open wound with a wound vac (no stitches just a suction system), a Nasal Gastral tube down my nose, an IV nutrition pick line, and several other miscellaneous IV tubes. Really, my journey had just begun.
I did get to catch up on some great movies like Thor Ragnorok during my hospital stay. I remember really resonating with Chris Hemsworth here. Other movies watched include: Dr. Strange, Phantom of the Opera, Chocolat, and Mama Mia #1. I also aggresively binged Parks and Recs.
Overall, the 17 days I spent in the hospital represent the most difficult time of my life. Almost worse than the everyday physical pain was the fear that something else would go wrong. And many things did. But I got through them. I would not wish this experience on anyone, but I can say that it has forever changed my perspective. Although my recovery is far from over, here are some of the things I have learned from my experience thus far.
My first day of freedom!!!
1. Sending love and support to friends in need can go a long way. I feel so incredibly lucky for the support I received from Coach Jay and the team. From texts, phone calls, flowers, letters and playlists, little acts of love from friends and family let me know that I was not alone. I am beyond grateful for Lucy and the Alexander family who were by my side throughout the whole ordeal (even after Lucy took off for Argentina!). Ivy even made a spontaneous road trip to Boise and stayed with me overnight in the hospital. Her visit helped me more than I can express. <3
2. The medical world is a confusing place. There's no one that has all the answers, and sometimes it feels like everyone is just trying to piece together a giant jigsaw puzzle while blindfolded and doing rollerski agility. That said, the care I received from the St. Luke's Hospital doctors, nurses, and staff was really amazing and I made some good friends.
3. The determination and grit you gain from Nordic skiing can come in handy in surprising ways. Whether you are trying to stay with a pack on that last lap of a 15k or walk to the end of the hospital hallway, digging deep and believing in yourself can get you where you need to go (One of my cheesier lines but I now know it to be true). The pain cave is more than a ski metaphor, it is a complex mental-physical-emotional matrix you can find yourself in at any time.
4. Life is un-freakin-predictable. You really never know when a rare congenital condition might show up! But instead of living in the fear of the unknown, I think this is even more reason to lean into the joys of the present. Sometimes it can seem like skiing is all about setting yourself up for future success. But something I love about this team is our ability to appreciate what we have, right here, right now. And we got a lot of love on this team!
5. Boise is actually a sick place. I only got to explore it for one day, but I still feel like I got the vibe. Think Midwest hospitality meets Westcoast chillness in a young and hip outdoorsy community.
Boise views.
I am now enjoying some much-needed R&R at my Grandmother's house at Lake Michigan. I can go on long beach walks and consume things other than Jell-O and coughdrops which feels really good. Plus, I'm with the three Bango bros, and they have kept me entertained. Also my scar is pretty badass so at least there's that ;).
2/3 Bango Bros pictured: Gabriel and Sebastian. Mateo most likely playing Fortnite somewhere.
-Carmen
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